Guest Post from Becca

Love is the scariest thing to deal with. I know, I’m a 16-year-old girl, of course I think I love anyone that can come into my life and make me feel special. Well, to be honest, before I figured out that I might love someone I thought everyone that was below the age of 20 and said they were/are in love was full of shit. The worst thing about it is laying out all your feelings is getting the “oh ok” reply. It’s one thing to pour your heart out to someone who you haven’t talked to in a month – but another to get a response that you’re not satisfied with. Being in love (or at least considering it) isn’t something I’m used to or something I’ll ever get used to. It’s like I’ve got all these feelings…and I have no idea what to do with them, especially when the feelings aren’t 100% returned. Don’t get me wrong, this kid definitely likes me – but not to the extreme level where my feelings are. At the same time, I don’t necessarily know that. And that’s ok, just not the easiest part of this. Actually I almost passed out when I told him how I feel. It takes some serious courage to admit to someone that practically hates you that you’re in love with them – especially in the situation that I’m in. I think the thing that will always scare me is the fact that (yes this will sound cliché) he’s got all of me. There isn’t one thing I haven’t told him. He could pretty much break me in one second if he really wanted to. Luckily, he’s not that type of person. Yeah, this goes against all of my morals to depend on a guy as much as I am now. Actually, most of this whole thing goes against my morals (including writing about love). But sometimes a girl like me needs a little moral breaking every once in a while. I always used to think love was something that people depended on so they had a rational reason to feel the way they do about someone. I was never really into stuff like that. I always sorta thought people felt the way they did and that was that. Now I guess I could see how it would help rationalize people’s feelings. It doesn’t help much though, love is probably the most irrational thing I can think of besides sex… and that’s not something I have ANY experience in. I’m not really into talking about love. I actually really hate that I might feel it for someone. I don’t think it’s something that someone my age should have to deal with. But I guess things always happen for a reason. And so it goes …

-Becca